How do you dare to say that you've lost someone who is worth it when you've never been able to accept me as I am during 4 whole years...?
I made myself sick in this relationship. I realised it much later. I was so madly deeply in love with you that I wanted to be the perfect woman. The perfect girl for you. The one you would always be in love with. The one you would never let down, always support, never betray. I was so wrong...but I could not see it.
Perfection does not exist. And less when perfection is an idea of yours, coming from your own mind. Sometimes I was even not recognizing myself. I hate fighting, being in conflict. But you were touching so deep and sensitive parts inside of me, it was mean, that I had to defend myself. I sometimes regret some words and acts that came from my side, because they were just not me. But who's gonna stay receiving bad and negative behaviours without reacting?
Like a big construction site, I have been building again each part of me, little by little, piece by piece. The process is still going on. But I'm happy with the result so far. I like it. The same way as I like the summer rain which is falling down today... Let's the rain take away all the negative feelings...